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April 24, 2003
Ways to Get Under My Skin
Without forewarning, show up 20 minutes late for a 1-hour meeting that you're one of the primary participants of (ie., meeting doesn't start until you arrive). Make a cursory apology (no eye contact), telling others that you stayed late with someone from your previous meeting.
Don't ask what others can bring to the project - instead, make assumptions about what they can do, and about what's possible in their area of expertise.
Listen to others attempting to explain what they can bring to the table only until they pause long enough for you to grab the reins again.
Ramrod the meeting through, telling the others that you have another important meeting in 10 minutes (when the current meeting still has over 20 minutes scheduled).
What does the above say to me?
- "I do not respect your time - my time and the time of the people whose meetings bracket this one is more important than yours."
- "While I have a vague idea of some things you might bring to the table, I'm too busy with other more important people to listen to other expertise you might have."
- "Although this is supposedly a planning meeting, I have already conceived a plan without consulting others who might have context or experience to add."
When you're hoping to have me design, implement and maintain things that have the power to make you look very good - or very bad - the above are most definitely not the things you want your behaviour to be saying to me.
I am not a prima donna. I don't expect people to hang off my every word, or defer to me at all times. I do expect, especially when being supposedly brought in for my expertise, to be treated with the respect due an equal.
Posted by jim at April 24, 2003 12:48 PM